I feel very self-conscious and inadequate writing today but I’m compelled to address the Newtown Connecticut tragedy.  I hope this is accepted as I intend it.

In the 1980’s Karen Burton Mains toured the refuge camps of the world.  Camps where adults and children were held for political crimes or famine related issues.  The camps were excruciatingly inhumane and ultimately chaotic. From her experiences she wrote a book that is incredibly meaningful to me entitled, “The Fragile Curtain.”  She chose that title because she came to realize that in the U.S.A. she was living behind a black curtain that kept her blind from the traumas the people in the rest of the world encountered.  There was a phrase she used toward the end of the book to describe the horrific conditions she experienced.  She wrote this, “My fragile curtain has been torn.”  That is how I feel today. 

Without the hope of eternal life in Christ, where there is no more crying or mourning or pain, where there is no more death, my hope in comfort and consolation would be shredded.  There is an insidious evil in our world, even in the supposedly safe areas of America, which defies rational explanation or logical understanding.  Evil has seeped into the lives of the naïve and innocent with a raw intensity that will defy psychiatry and counseling for years.  It will lift its horrendously ugly head in dreams and feelings in those who have endured their horribly traumatic day and they will never fully heal.  PTSD and other syndromes will be discussed and encountered for lifetimes.  There will be no opportunity for denial.  There is no reason “why” that will open the door of insight and personal healing.  Irrationality has no definition and this kind of childhood violence has no justification, therefore finding a satisfying explanation is impossible.  Healing the brokenhearted and binding their wounds will be slow.

The only option for us is love.  To love those who have lost someone they love. To love them so that possibly one day they might be able to encounter a day that has some normality to it with no high definition memories.  Every Christmas will force the facing of a holy day milieu that will be oppressive and dark.  

We desperately need to feel the grief of fellow humans who are just trying to take their next breath.  Who will get to that point of exhaustion and hope for some brief period of sleep so the hurt can be held at bay for an hour or two.  If I sound morbid and defeatist it’s because I, in a very very minor partial way, realize how long and painful will be the healing from emotional grief for a 5 year old child.

My fragile curtain has been torn.  I thank God my children are alive and enjoying life. And yet I fret.  I worry selfishly because I don’t want to be a grieving parent.  I don’t want to be the one who loses someone they love.

Praying for the community of people in Newtown with tangible expressions of love is our only option.  It won’t allow anyone to escape the psychological damage, and the process of grief that these poor people will have to endure.  But we can at least expend sympathy and some small acts of love.

If you have the gift of mercy or compassion why not write down the name of a parent who has lost a child today and send a card every month for a few years.  See if God can use your concern and love to, in some small way, help someone to heal.  

One other thing, hug, forgive, call, love your kids, parents, family, and thank God for the privilege of having them in your life.

So, for your Pastor, tonight, if you have young kids, do what was my favorite part of being a dad of young kids.  Give them a bath and afterward pull their little wet, warm, naked bodies wrapped in terry cloth close and inhale the sweet scent of shampoo and soap.  Then throw them down on the carpet and put your mouth on their bellies and blow out as hard as you can, making what Bill Cosby used to call "zerbets!"  Which are really just giant fart noises made with your mouth on their belly!  And while their laughing hysterically and asking you why you're crying just say, "God has filled me so full of love for you it just leaks out."

God bless,

Pastor Ed